Cheers To You, Jeremy Davies

13 02 2009

I’ve been watching every episode of LOST like it’s my job, and I have an important announcement to make. Never before has an actor on this indomitable television show ever encapsulated the intoxicating bewilderment in one expression quite like the great Jeremy Davies did in this week’s episode:


Seriously: SO perfect. I’ve never felt more catharsis for my delightful confusion then when I witnessed this subtle and perfectly sustained face contortion. This ALONE should garner him all the Emmys of ever.

(Thanks to Best Week Ever for the screencap)


This is the Key to the Brilliance of The Soup

31 01 2009

This is the only reason I’ll ever need YouTube for the rest of my days.

Okay, this is the only reason I’ll ever need YouTube for the rest of my days.

Arbitrary and Unnecessary Cycle 11 Superlatives, Judgments

26 11 2008

Best Tyra finale wardrobe in the history of ANTM

Worst contestant finale wardrobe in the history of ANTM

Most Ambivalence about the finalists from Tyra in the history of ANTM
America's Next Top Model

Most Creatively Incongruent Mr. Jay-directed runway in the history of ANTM


Most generous imaging of Whitney in the history of her presence in ANTM


Most horrendously staged “candid” product placement in the history of ANTM (and, therefore, all of television)


Best collective reactions ever captured in a single frame…in the history of ANTM


Much credit to the incomparable Rich at fourfour for the totally brill caps. Speaking of Rich, since this meh cycle is officially over, I’ve decided it’s high time my three go-to recap blogs/sites (fourfour, TWOP, and receive a proper evaluation. It’s all…after the jump!

Read the rest of this entry »

His Time Has Passed

14 11 2008

Do you think Jason Priestley considers it a personal hit when NBC misspells his name three times on their web site?

PriestlySo sorry, Jaysin (it is Jaysin, rite?). Looks like there’s only room for one post-90210 moniker in our memory banks, and frankly, Brian Austin Green is a far simpler phonetic task. Also, don’t feel too bad. Judging by the fact that I capped this page at 12:30 PM on Friday, it looks like NBC’s web team has been slacking on all counts.

Jerell’s Prophecy…unfulfilled.

13 10 2008

Unfortch, while his snappy cut at Kenley makes a kicky tune, the hot mess of bridal wear he created deservedly sent him home. Listen and remember.
At Da Teyents!

In Memoriam

9 10 2008

Lauren Brie, we hardly knew ye. Which is pretty much why you got eliminated. I definitely agree with the decision based on her most recent photograph. But Tyra, couldn’t you have just given her a bottom-two scared-straight situation? Well anywhatevs, what’s done is done. Thanks lb, (or “pound,” which is an apt nickname considering her signature malnourished look), for producing these mind-blowing photos:

*Moment of Silence/Awe*

I totally knew from the second episode on that she’d be this season’s Katarzyna. I guess I still held a shred of hope in my weird, ANTM-loving heart that she’d blossom under Tyra’s wacked-out coaching. Shockingly, being told to turn “awkward” into “surfer girl” only confused her more, instead of refining the posing skills that she very clearly had (need I more proof than the three photos above?!?!). Marjorie, on the other hand, almost made me vomit with delightful repulsion during her pose teach. The girl was almost at full doubled-over stance when she was what I like to term “a complete quasimodo.” And, truthfully, after Tyra’s suggestions (“Now you’re a hunchback that’s a model!“) Marjorie neatly refined the ug. Another vomit moment, but completely free of delight? Tyra beaming while under the self-asserted impression that Marjorie’s (deservedly) winning photo was a direct result of O Hooded One’s tutelege. Maybe a little. But the French mouse’s awesome photo was a combination of her already-existing awk-nastiness and the right assigned embarrassing moment to express. Even with the horrendous jeweled gypsy head wrap, Marjorie pulled it off swimmingly. Turbans Hats off to you, cherie.

Quick one-liners about the other contestants:
: This was so NOT your prettiest photo. You will unfortunately be gone in at least two weeks.
Sheena: Your portfolio’s back up on the CW’s ANTM site, so I guess you’re back in good favor with Little (?) Black Riding Hood. Good personality, but you have no deliberate intention at shoots. Next week’s commercial should buy you some time.
McKey: You’re lucky Paulina loves you so much. Your photos are getting stronger, which is a plus, but let’s be straight, McKey: you’re weird. That is all.
Analeigh: If this competition was won solely based on the amount of time spent trying to figure why one sucks, then you’d be a shoo-in. Luck has been favoring you recently, so here’s to hoping you find your “niche” before it’s too late.
Samantha: You’re undeniably 18 and Californian. If you stay for a couple more weeks, you’re bound to force someone to knock you out (based on next week’s previews, it looks like Elina’s gonna give it a go).
Elina: You straight-up got shafted this week. Jay Manuel’s tear-forcing methods were uncomfortably cruel (Mike, keep shooting when she stops talking), you showed emotion, and the lighting was too strong to pick up your photo. Seeing your face during the fake-tear removal demonstration was telling, but you still don’t suck that bad.
Tyra: The mail(person?) outfit’s great for photo shoots, but not so much for everyday wear. Just an FYI.
Mike Rosenthal: You’re nice! Be a photog/judge more often. And tell Jeremy Scott that scowls, especially when paired with 4-wave curly bangs, are not fierce.

I’ll wrap this up with an elimination prediction for next week: Samantha. Based on her attempt of practiced-improv during the photo shoot, her commercial should be a wreck.

Friends Quote of the…Moment?

8 10 2008

I would say “day” or “week,” but Lord knows I’m as regular on writing in this thing as an octogenarian who forgot to take their Metamucil.

Friends, Season 9: The One with Pheobe’s Birthday Dinner

“For God’s sake, Judy! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! PICK UP THE SOOCK!”