PopProse: Let it Rock

16 02 2009

Ok, so I saw this HGTV situation awhile back where a family lived in a house for a few days to see if they wanted to buy it. It was a family of three, and the only child was a 11-ish-year-old boy who needed an extra room for his ‘studio’ because he was an aspiring ‘hip-hop producer.’

Maybe I’ve been watching far too much LOST, but I swear that Kevin Rudolf IS this kid in the future, but NOW. Maybe he got caught in a time-space continuum and grew physically, but not quite in the mental region. Y’know, like Big and Benjamin Button and Daniel Faraday all rolled into one nonsensical individual.

Need proof? Just imagine with me for a moment: the few paragraphs below scribbled onto a napkin (not a bar napkin, of course; more like a floral-print Sparkle paper towel folded into fourths aside a PBJ). Mr. Rudolf’s opus! Ode to partying hearty!

I see your dirty face high behind your collar. What is done in vain? Truth is hard to swallow, so you pray to God to justify the way you live a lie. And you take your time, and you do your crime. Well, you made your bed; I’m in mine, because when I arrive, I’ll bring the fire, make you come alive; I can take you higher! What is this: forgot?! I must now remind you: LET IT ROCK! LET IT ROCK! LET IT ROCK!

Now the son’s disgraced. He who knew his father when he cursed his name turned and chased the dollar. But it broke his heart, so he stuck his middle finger to the world! And you take your time, and you stand in line. Well, you’ll get what’s yours. I got mine!

(Popular friend warbles gratuitous innuendos in the distance)

I wish I could be as cruel as you, and I wish I could say the things you do. But I can’t, and I won’t live a lie! No, not this time.

How else can you explain this? Can it even BE explained?!! Y’know what’s even MORE unexplainable? He has a second single on the radio. I’m just disgusted (I think).